Don't call me by my full name.

i cant begin to image you without me, youve become everything you claimed you werent. i said this line over and over to myself, because it was true, it made me upset and kind of sad. you may not think its true, but after all the crap that went through my mind i found it pretty true. nothings ever what we expect.

I want to get out of this place, but where would i go, what would i do? i may not have it all down and i may not be exactly what you wanted, but i hope youre happy with the choices youve made, and i dont mean that in an asshole way, i truely mean it. if none of the things happened the way they did i wouldnt be where i am today, and i wouldnt see things the way i do now. im learning from every single thing, im learning that things go on even without you. im smiling even when i didnt think i had anything left to smile over, this wasnt the easiest thing to do so im pretty content with whats going on. its allowed me to further step outside of myself. i dont need to follow things step by step, im just having fun and living my life, letting everything fall into place. yeah i have my moments of weakness but it happens to the best of us. im starting to figure out that im not alone in this world and the more i allow myself to see this the more i learn that people arent such assholes after all and as long as you give some a chance you learn they can change you in ways you didnt think possible and that sometimes it just takes one to understand you and feel your pain and be ok with it, or in this case my own. maybe i wanna jump without looking sometimes. maybe i want to let go even tho im not sure what might happen, i just want to go!!! whatever that means.

p.s. HI RONZIE!

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."