In need of a constant.

What is constant anymore? Having a girlfriend or boyfriend for more than a year? Sticking with a job a few months before getting tired and quitting? What?! I'm stressing this because looking at the world around me, nothing...NOTHING is as it seems anymore. It seems like no one is in need of a constant, however, even though it seems that way, I know it is not true. Many if not everyone wants a constant, whether it be from love, life, family, work, school, determination, etc. etc. What we fail to realize is we put ourselves out of constants, we give up, we lose hope, we stop caring...Is this really what we want? I highly doubt it. Husbands cheating on wifes and vise versa, what happened to real love people? If you want out then get out, but don't be rude and cheat, and thats not even rude, thats just wrong. Have the BALLS or the vagina to fucking speak up and not hurt the person you claim to love, give them the respect to at least be up front with them...What is it with people cheating to get ahead in life, credit card scams, fraud, identity theft, come on people, as if we didn't have enough hate and problems in the world that we need to cheat our way in life, live up to your own shit and take care of your own life, don't steal from others who probably worked really hard for what they have, and here comes these people just taking it all away...and for what?! Some cheap thrills, come on, that's not right at all. When did people decide that they wanted to be so wrong? Anyway it just surprises me how some people have no shame. But thats them, if they want to live with no shame and no heart then so be it, but when it's time to face up to all this what will they say?! They didn't mean it, they're sorry? Ha, it's too late my friend. But these people I mean I talk in the sense that they don't want to or never will change. Anyway I am all over the place right now. Let me direct the topic back to love because thats just where I want to go haha. Love should always be a constant, I understand people fall out of love, or things just don't work out, it happens, life happens right...? I want to believe in love so much right now, because love above many other things should be the most constant, they say if nothing else love will carry you through, thats not necessarily true you know, it won't pay the bills or what have you. But, emotionally, physically, it should be it. It's amazing what a constant love can do for a person.

For myself at this point in time I have no constant in love, it has been a while actually and frankly I'm tired of not having it. I want it, it's complicated and I'm not the easiest person, but I believe there are people out there who want to be with me as much as me to them. Heh, hmm I like constants in that sense. I have problems just like everyone else, but I want to live my life without regrets as I've said in past posts. I think I am just ready to let go and see myself through. Whatever that means, I want a constant. Not only in love, but every aspect, but not to the point where it feels like I am not truly living, my life will always be crazy, that I cannot get away from. I don't want everything to be the same all the time, but I would like to know that I can be secure in my times of spontaneity. I want to be content in my life and be happy. My whole life as been filled with chaos and for once before my life is over, I want to put some of myself in it. I want to experience things, etc. If you know me, you know I kind of got a late start on my life, for many reasons...One being because of my childhood but lets not go back to that, I think I've talked about it too much before. I am probably not making sense, but oh well hahaha. It's my post, it made sense to me in my fucked up head! Haha...

"The only thing constant in life is change."