It's funny you know...What is? I'm sure you're asking by now...It's funny how we sometimes look at ourselves and think man i'm so fucked up, or shit, everything is so amazing right now, how could it possibly get any better? But who are we really? Who are we to say to ourselves we are this or that way? Is it true or are we really lying to ourselves? At the end of the day can you really ask yourself, "is there anything I regret not doing today?" and honestly give yourself an answer that won't make you feel bad? We're all dishonest people, we are and I can't name one person that I know who is perfect in any sense. We tell ourselves we will be better or if on the negative side that this will be the day we finish it. I guess sometimes a high can be killed and a downer can be brought back up? In any sense, I guess my point in all this is that at the end of the day can we truly look at ourselves and say we've been doing everything we can to be as good as we really should be, that "perfect" person in a not so perfect way...? I look at myself everyday and ask, "why?" I ask this because I am so unlike anyone else [no my head isn't in the clouds either] that I often wonder how I can be so "perfect" in a not so perfect way [this is only my opinion lol don't start hate comments saying I said i'm perfect, re read that shizz! lol, i know i'm not perfect though, far from it.], yet so fucked up at the same time. I love how I am, but at the same time often wish I was just like others. I've lead such a fucked up life at this point, it feels like I am just getting started and it sucks a lot. I can't even stress this enough. Sometimes it gets so hard that I want to give up on everything, but I know that I can't, I have to keep going, otherwise everything I've said and believed in would be a lie, go to waste, become meaningless to others...I can't let that happen, for I care way too much to let that happen. I get mad and i'm not the closest with my family, besides my niece and nephew [they show me so much love is ridiculous], but that does not mean I don't love and I would do anything to protect them if they were ever in trouble. I guess at the end of the day I am not fully happy with myself or my life at the moment, however, I know things will eventually get better if I keep working at it. That's all I CAN do for the moment, if I give up, well, I might as well cease to exist right?
“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”
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