uhm..

"I have a question: in relationships is there ALWAYS going to be one person that likes the other person more and if so, which side is better to be on??" -M.J.

Alright so I suppose I want to touch on this topic, give my "two cents" if you will. I guess I can agree that theres someone in each relationship that loves/likes more than the other. Personally I can say I was once the one who loved/liked more. I can say from this experience it sucks and hurts more to be on this side, as opposed to the one who likes less. Why? Because it fucking hurts in the end to know you loved them more than them you. Makes you feel like they were just settling for you, you were a momentary decision, and never expected to keep. I heard different opinions like, "its unhealthy" and "relationships are give and take". Both along with many others have a lot of validity to them. I also believe it is just whatever you think as a person, whatever "works" for you, because honestly, there is no right or wrong answer for this question. It can be unhealthy to love too much because in the end theres a chance you'll get hurt. But then again how else would we love but with everything we  have? [or like] it's pointless to me to do it any other way. Ok theres times when we sort of like someone, but we have to warm up to them, we grow to like them as much as we do. Maybe you have so much to give that the other person can't keep up, doesn't mean they don't like you or love you. If so, that would be really fucked up to just lead someone on because you want to spare their feelings. Don't do this, please. The last thing you want to do in my opinion is try and play the savior and drag someone along because you are afraid to hurt them, trust me you are hurting them so much more by doing this. Let them go, tell them you're done, whatever you have to do. Just don't keep hope in them when theres no reason. No relationship is balanced, because no two people are the same. You like someone because of what they have to offer, they make you laugh or have similar values, they listen to you, etc, etc. Whatever the case may be theres always going to be differences, they will always let you down in one way or another, but it's something you deal with because every relationship is fucked up, theres always going to be a mess, but true love comes when you still want to be with them after the mess. No one will ever live up to what we want them to be, no one will ever be "perfect" for us. Hmm, to always over analyze things, I guess could mean you're trying to find fault, something you can complain about, is that really how anyone should live? You take the bad with the good, thats a given. Both parties have to genuinely care about the other, it shouldn't matter who likes/loves who more than the other, as long as it's there thats all that should matter. But again life is all around us, even when you think you know a person it could turn out you really don't. I suppose this only applies to when were cheated on or whatever else have you. But again we can't expect anyone to be a certain way, because we are always changing. Or maybe they lost whatever spark they had for you in the first place their time with you is done, which, no, im not giving cheating in any way and excuse, if youre done, then youre done, you should always be upfront about that and end it. Anyway straying too much. Again, in the end its all how you want to deal/think about it all. If it works it works, if not well you know you have to make some changes. If everything was always fine and "normal" and just the same and you knew exactly what to expect, wouldn't you get bored and want something new? I'm not saying go out and cheat, but maybe thats why every relationship has its difficulties, differences, etc. At the end of the day you already know, you really do. But sometimes it's hard to face the truth. Love isn't a fairytale and I can tell you theres hardly ever a happy ending.  It's what you make it, live in the moment and enjoy it. If you can't, I suppose all I can say is have fun being miserable all the time. 


"Pure love produces pure nonsense."